Friday, April 22, 2005
back
back from jalan kayu roti prata feast.... feeling fat... seems like the weight i've lost has been gained back within a day.
send my brother off to his fren' house after prata meal. went there to chat about some shit his fren got into. haha his friend was quite lame. 'ur father wanna come up to my house and sit?' haha cos that guy stays alone in some condo. i know wat trouble he got into but i dun wanna say... feeling bad for him... cos he's a fun ultra lamest cranky corny person u'll ever meet.
some how i'm attarct to guys who fight. as in not pick a fight for nothing but... defends himself instead of running away.
mixed feelings... i love my brother... but i wouldn't have much time to spend with him... i dun think we'll ever be able to have like supper in the kitchen like late in the night and stuff... these days when he's got the time, he'll spend time with his groupa friends...
they are really close... they travel, workout, chase girls and parctically to almost everything together... their like brothers... so envious.
k gotta go shit and bathe...
so emma how was han language chinese class?
10:59 PM
he's back!!!1
lalalalalalalala my brother's back from ns!!!!!! never realise how much i missed him till today!!!!!! he stinks!!!!!!!
oh okie when to pasir ris to pick him up... major jam... he's bald... i love him to bits... i realise i love my brother more than any other family member.... THIS IS NOT INCEST... haha
k remember in one of those enteries i told u i saw i cute guy while going on the guided tour around the BMT school two? that guy's brother is my brother's bed mate!!!!!! so lucky!!!! but anyways i dun think i'll be able to get his contact... i'm a jinx at such stuff... my brother told me that that cute acjc guy's dad is a doc and his mom a lawyer... omg... smart family... therefore most prob smart genes... lalalala... so happy to see my brother... can't stand the way he smells... he needs to be soaked in deodarant.
*hope that i left a good impresion, it was kinda rushing to pick my brother up...i ran from the main road to the mcdonalds... saw cute guy's brother... my hair was super messy i think... ma lu!!!!) CRAP!!! i always act like an didoit in front of cute people..) they all look the same when bald in black specs and the army uniform...*
lalalalalal... i wanna get into acjc.
anyway had sports day today... OLEANDER ROX!!!!
1,2,3,4
everybody stomp the floor
5.6.7.8
everybody boody shake
9,10,11,12
everybody scream and yell
go OLE, go OLE,
go go
go OLE!!!!
anyway to donna... darren chin looks hot running... jealous?
went to eat at sushi tei... i never tried that before.... nice exprerience.... one thing.. never ever ever feed me raw fish... i love my food cooked:)
yeah then slacked in emma's room for 3 ++ hours then headed home.
i dun noe what we did but time past very fast... we rolled around the room... played with my hair which turns out to be kinda disastrous... look for emma for photos... and just talked rubbish...
ate alot alot today... couldn't resists... most prob heaing to jalan kayu for their famous roti prata... yum yum...
so much for losing 2 kg...
i love love my brother... forget the constant 'bashing' i had with him while we were younger... he's great!
anyway my brother hates NS haha he thinks its fucked up.. i didn't ask anything much... cos he looked pissed when i ask him about it... anyway he met many of his schoolmates and friends in there. sounds cute. seeing friends being bald and doing the same crap... hahaha.
i wanna go ACJC!
must study!!!
sqeeuze into the school!!!!
8:51 PM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
reflection
k so yeah i got a D for 2.4km run.... and if i want to reatke it in juky i have to do the five items too... but look on the bright side i lost 2 kg!!! haven't lost any weight in a long time... quite happy...
went ti jiaying's house after chem remedial... chatted alot... jiaying!!!!! i'm jealous that u have a hot guy to talk too... i'm actually ok with you abandoning me... its ok...
and i figured out that i talk in a boyish way... not like the tone of the voice... but my ans to questions and the questions and thing i do... kinda boyish... maybe that's why i hit off quite well with jiaying's friend... maybe this is why wei de liked me... but this is bad... this means guys will never like me like me... but like me cos i can relate well to them.... but i dun just talk with any guy face to face... for eg. i felt super awkward talking to weide in person.... i'm just weird... so yeah i'll never get a boyfriend. tonight is tv heaven...
8:37 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
ma lu
shit so embarrasing...
i went to dome today i actually walked out without paying... i walked like 3 steps then i was like i forgot something
i forgot to pay!!!!!!! when i turned around the waiter was behind me... then i was like sorry i was about to walk back and pay....
so embarrasing... i was like in a daze... i was tired and stressed... if this goes one i migth even cross the road when the man is red!
k so i heard that ACJC is ranked 4 this year... cool!!!! should i go there?
k since now the school is ranked 4 means its quite good right, not only that the guys are hot too...
but then again the school is too far and full of rich kids. so i might get ostracized there as i'm not wealthy... this happens... i may get distracted cos its a 'play' school.
seriously the main reason why i'm afraid to go to ACJC is that i might get ostracized for my financial capabilities. if i'm not ostracized, i'm afarid that when i do make friends there who are rich and if i hang out with them too often, i might pick up their shopping habits. like spending excessively which i think will kill my parents. i'm just from an average (i think) income family. so yeah so shit.
but if i do get there i might get a bf (muahahah, but not likely cos i'm fat!).
yeah
have been slacking since 6.45, the moment i got home.
too brain drained to do any shit right now... freaking out stressed, dunno what to do with life...
looking thru friendster to pass time...
got 2.4 km run tomoro, freaking out, hoping to get a C to get gold...
want to have a close friend of the opposite sex... have been looking ofr a long long time but to no avail.
haiz... anyway most peeps at ACJC are like freaking good looking!!! so yeah since i'm fat ugly and poor... i think i shall not go there... but then i wanna go there...
HOW?????? I'M AFRAID OF BEING NEGLECTED!!
9:14 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
reflection
*haiz* is haiz good or bad? haha
k *haiz* just got back from j8. went out with eunice jiaying and jiaying's vs guy. then later when we are about to leave vs guy's brother came.
so the point is we chatted and had fun...i was actually comfortable talking with that guy... which i don't normally do with guys... k but i suttered a little.
analysis of that guy *due to his age and jiaying's sake... his identity is enclosed*
he's cute
nice to talk to
not retarded
fun
humourous ( jy!!!!!! finger incident!!!! hahah.... )
quite gentlemanly
nice smile
*due to my limited vocab i've got nothing to describe
oh about his brother
he's also cute... didn't talk much...
k so i was thinking on the trip home... damn my frens are freaking lucky to have such nice frens... the guys i meet apparantly think i'm bloody fat or are retarded. yeah so yeah if i can't even get to meet nice guys as frens? i can really forget about getting my dream hot guy... so let me serach for nunneries around and the world and enrol myself into one... imagine me in the whole nun robe thing...
k so yeah... i'm skipping dinner tonight so as to lose weight... and my goal is to look good my jc...i hope i dun lose my boobs away... hahahah
k so yeah lazy to type anymore... i'm just like fucking disappointed with myself...
so yeah next time if anyone comes up to you and say looks doesn't matter...slap that individual back to reality and wash her fucking eye balls... cos he must be blind...
OMG holland... cool place with the bright orange soccer jersey.
6:51 PM
Sunday, April 17, 2005
no joke
the following entery is no joke:
i seriously think that i may have some mental disorder...
i CANNOT concentrate doing my work!!!!!
i just sit there and stone, watch tv when there's nothing nice on it! and stare at the com thinking what shit should i check on...
i fucking think there's something wrong... i seem to forget things alot... i seem to hate life more... is this stress???
my bloody brain is churning in misery...
i'm working against the clock...
i really hate hate hate the life i have now... i used to wonder why people end their lives... now i do...
9:58 PM
