Tuesday, June 27, 2006
new templete
ok after 2 years with the previous one. i've decided to change. there were so many to choose from, i've decided to go with this. i'm happy 100% excited about this design but it will do. wanted something upbeat and lively to change the mood of my blog but most were quite girly. way too girly. same this real pink one with strawberry martini. real sweet with kisses and stuff not my kinda thing.
my exams ended today so EMMA, EUNICE, JIAYING AND JEAN be jealous. haha. the papers were fine nnot extremely hard or anything. its do-able if you have studied which i only did in the last week of holidays. i shall put my short term memory to the test.
anyway, i feel that i'm not a motivated person. i keep setting myself deadlines but only to push it back. and when i do fail at something i promised myself to achieve, i provide myself with lame reasons.
for example, i told myself to lose weight in sec 2, didn't accomplish that till end of sec 4. i didn't even realised i loss weight. but then again its not enough i want to be slim and toned. i wanna be fit and healthy. sick of being the fat one. i mean the comments i got when i was younger is really hurtful, it was alomst like verbal abuse. i use to brush it off and not bother but after a while comments like fatty, fat pig and all the other crap is really hard to swallow.
but anyway all has passed.
so today after the paper i wanted to go straight home but realised there's nothing for me to do. plus i didn't want to look like a loser. so i found a group going out and went along. went to gelare for waffle ice cream lunch:) yum yum. anyway, at the cafe my classmates were kinda insulting this girl from tp. she was my primary school classmate she has really changed alot. i mean physically she has tripled in size, she has becomed nerdier and its quite hard to communicate. she's like the loser loner in school. but if she does talk she cahts alot. i mean she's in my chinese class and i sit beside her so naturally we talked. she'll talk i listen i'm ok with that. she told me she's been through alot like depression and medication during sec sch. back to the point there's forum on my school webpages where you can dicuss, debate of just chat with ur friends. i mean she does ask me to participate and sometimes she pass me weird papers like help africa stuff like that. i'm not saying africa is not worth helping but she actually prints out fliers stuff. my friends were like syaing how freakish and loserish she is erm answering her own posts on the school website, coming up with stupid discussion topics and also signing off with her weird msn nick thousand arms. she's also the kind of girl with the nerd hair long skirt baggy top and loads of bags and books.
i do insult people behind their backs sometimes but it doesn't feel good to listen to people insulting your friend.
oh some of my classmates dislike my GP tecaher too. saying all kids of stuff about her, disruopting her class. its fun for awhile but i get quite irritated. i mean i'm the GP rep can't change much. she's ok, i mean she treats me well in class cause i'm polite to her. the only thing i cannot stand about her is her act cute voice. everybody has their bad points i mean if she's born with a voice like that i can't judge her. yeah i was saying disrupting the class, if you hate the teacher then just miss her class. disrupting the class doesn't do us any good( i'm more concerned about my studies after i screwed up O levels). i've changed i'm more guai but i do go back to old habits of skipping classes and dozing off during them.
but yeah i'm trying to make something better out of my life. trying to do my best. at least at the end of the day whatever i've achieved i will be satisfied cause it was my best.
night, press on study hard do not fall into the allure of the com tv and bed:)
6:40 AM
