Friday, September 01, 2006
the signs of aging
i'm suffering from the symptoms of aging and that is i find learning new concepts tough. in donkey years back, i could like pick up and understand stuff very fast. these days i still can understand my work but i'll forget super fast!
my brain is not functioning the way it used to. do i have early onset of dementia?
anyway i think i must accept reality. i am a person who expects sucess if i put in an effort to accomplish something. if i don't suceed i'll be crushed and will lose my motivation to achieve again. i know there's such a thing as brains and talents which are the other components of sucess which i'm seriously lacking in. hardwork, sadly, is not everything. i feel that i'm a very lazy person seriously, you girls hear me talk about studying all the time but i don't do what i tell myself. *sighs* the biggest obstacle in my life is ME.
8:09 PM
i hate the way i look.
i wish i were taller, slimmer and shapier. wishing to be taller is kinda immpossibel to apen. now all i can do is to wok hard and get slim but food is way too tempting! i must hate food. food is bad.
anyway life kinda sucks now as mentioned in my previous entry. AH! i wanna be slim and smart!
anyway i went afreast agian today and i've realised that far east clothes aren't as bad as it used to. there are some real nice pieces.
i dunno way i hated slim people can i think being slim equal to no figure. i'm so wrong so many slim people have figure AH! i mean wehn they were skiiny jeans or shorts their legs are to die for.
i wanna be leggy.
i wanna be tall.
i wanna be everything i'm not.
i wanna be random. i am random.
4:25 AM
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
its it just me...
OR DOES MY LIFE SUCK... my life is so uneventful. plus i'm not rich. i wish i were rich not like emma loaded but 3/4 or 1/2 i would be contented. i must work hard so i'll have rich kids and i'll teach them the difference between money and water.
i mean why can't i have hot friends or classmates. i mean like knowing hot people. then at least i have something to gush and go girlie over. something for me to look forward to in school. my life is just sad.
also, i hate looking thru friendster even though i find it amusing. i mean look at random people or schoolmates. anyway quite a number of cedarians have hooked up with guys in jc. hahah, desperate beings. at least they have someone. i'm just so bored. waiting for mine to drop from the sky but i dun want him/her ( i'm keeping my options open even though i would prefer a him) to fall and get paralysed. lame rubbish i know but yeah its sam here:)
4:20 AM
